Bob Sanders

Bob Sanders is a rookie cornerback for the Indianapolis Colts. I bring this up only because today, sitting watching football with my brother, I told him the Colts’ had scored on a fumble return by Bob Sanders, whom I had never heard of.

But that moment I decided Bob Sanders is a great name – just not for a football player. It’s a great name for some secondary-character type people.

Por ejemplo: I’d love to lend you my circular saw, but I already lent it to my next door neighbor, Bob Sanders.

Or… I’m not sure if those are the right forms; have you checked with Bob Sanders down in Accounting? I’m sure there are endless others.

So how does a young man – he’s a rookie from Iowa – with a name that reeks of such next-door-neighbory (this, clearly, is not a word) return a fumble 37 yards for a touchdown?

I don’t know. But on a side note, we were watching the Jets-Ravens game, and the Jets were about to punt for the fifth time (in five possessions) in the second half. I grew angry.

I began to boo as Curtis Martin ran into the line for no gain. Why was I booing the television? Can’t help myself. But then the fans on TV started to boo along with me. And this is why I love New York. If you run the ball up the middle 1,000 times in a row, the fans (consumers) have a right to voice their displeasure to the team. To wit:

“Boo” is just a short way of saying, “Dear Sir or Madam: We have found ourselves dissatisfied with your product. If you could eliminate the portion of your playbook that sucks, it would be greatly appreciated. We look forward to doing business with you in the future. Sincerely, The Guy With His Chest and Face Painted Green Even Though It’s 30 Degrees Out.”

This is why I love New York. And I also love the name of that guy….what was it? Oh, yeah, Bob Sanders.