Where Have You Gone, Sexy Underwear?

Evan loves you more than you will know...woah woah woah....

So anyway, I was reading this story today, and it said that in Australia, thongs and other such alluring undergarments are having their rightful place in the pantheon of sexiness usurped by, get this, a comeback of granny panties. Worn by non-grannies!

"There was a time when everything had to be a G-string but that has swung around to now when everything has to have a boy-leg," said Calvin Klein underwear sales and marketing manager Judith Anderson.

Well, needless to say, my, ahem, "boy leg" is none too excited about this development. I mean who doesn't like sexy girl underwear?

It reminds me of a time I visited my friend Janet up in NYC, and Janet complained to her older sister Laura about Laura's clothes-drying rack sitting in the bedroom window populated by big (relatively, since Laura was quite petite) underwear. "Laura, everyone walking by can see you wear granny panties, and they're not going to talk to us!" Janet complained.

And no one ever talked to them again. (OK, that's not true.)

This is also sad news, I suspect, to another NYC chum of mine, Tamer, a booty connoisseur, who had the unique talent of being able to tell exactly what type of underwear a woman was wearing simply by looking at her pants.

In the interest of full disclosure, no pun intended, I'm a boxer-briefs man. It's the best of both worlds. They provide security for your junk without being overly constrictive. Now, I realize that constrictiveness is not such an issue for the ladies as is the wedgie. But whatever undies they're wearing are going to ride up some anyway. Why not take the crack by the horns, so to speak, and just give it the thong?

There's probably something else to be said on the matter, but it will invariably involve the phrase "dumps like a truck" so I will simply leave it at that. Sorry Sisqo.