Stinging Criticism

Man, it's been a while since I posted, and this is hardly a big deal to get me fired up for finally posting, but I saw this story today about a stingray stinging a turtle and wondered what the hell it was doing on a news site. Of course, that question is answered in the fourth paragraph - as if you hadn't already guessed the reason. And the answer, of course, is that the Crocodile Hunter was killed by a stingray recently. So suddenly, anything stingray-related qualifies as news.

Earlier today, I saw two squirrels chasing each other up a tree near my back porch. I was all set to alert the local news media when I remembered something: no celebrities have been chased by a squirrel recently. Hence, the news value of my sighting equals zero.

Of course, had I seen a sharpei running through my backyard, or perhaps eaten some diseased clams last night, I probably could have attracted some media buzz based solely on the recent internet pictures (of the NSFW and/or not-safe-for-not-being-nauseous variey, I should add) of Lindsey Lohan's shriveled-out vadge.

Ah, celebrity worship. So entertaining on it's own, but when it basically dictates what the media reports on as "news" it's a little scary. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to CNN.com's front page to see if there have been any developments in the death of Anna Nicole Smith's son. Hey, it's the main story, it must be important.