A Simple 'No Comment' Will Do

I was going to contain myself. I really was. I was not going to lash out at the many, many spam comments that have recently plagued the bottoms of my posts. In fact, the only reason it was really bothering me was that all comments are emailed to me, and I was forced to read about dudes with links to turkey farms or whatever the fuck.

Anyway, I had no choice. I finally had to respond, finally had to draw the line, if only because my latest post about Christian Slater in the movie "Pump Up the Volume" elicited the following comment from some ass-bag spammer:

I discuss this topic daily myself. I also have a website that talks about web site hosting provider related things. Go check it out if you get a chance.

Oh, you discuss "Pump Up the Volume" daily? Really? Do you? Man, and I thought I was being exceptionally random in mentioning it offhand in this blog. But, shit, if this is something you talk about EVERY DAY, by all means comment away! That link in your post couldn't possibly be spam-related. I mean, where would you even find the time to visit random blogs and try to drive up your business site's traffic, what with all that discussion of "Pump Up the Volume" that you engage in DAILY!

Oh Mr. Spammer, you master of multitasking! You wizard of the Web! Where ever do you find the time?

If you can squeeze it into your busy schedule, Mr. Spammer, sometime in the near future, please feel free to kiss my ass.