Comic Strip

Once I saw the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory last week, I thought there would never be a catchier song in my head than the one that goes "Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, he's the famous chocolatier..." and so on.

I was totally wrong. Turns out the ridiculous songs that were playing in the, um, gentlemen's establishment where my friend Bob celebrated his upcoming nuptials were way, way more catchy (and hysterically funny) than anything about a dude who makes chocolate.

Among the lyrical gems were refrains like: "Titties and ass," "There are some whores in this house" (or something like that), and "Wait'll you see my dick." Seriously.

Then of course we decided that a little mixing and matching could provide some excellent songs for let's say, oh, i don't know, a transvestite strip club.

Titties and ass. Titties and ass. Wait'll you see my dick.

We were lucky enough to have an authority in our entourage, and he pointed out that this style of music is known as "ghetto tech" and comes mostly from Detroit. I like to describe it as a modern-day, more-techno-ish 2 Live Crew. And as the funniest music naked girls have ever danced to. Or done anything to, for that matter.

I just hope that on the drive back to North Carolina, something from my iPod gets into my head and gets stuck there. Otherwise, I'll spend the next week walking around places like the grocery store, humming the tune in my head, inadvertently advising strangers to wait to see my dick. And we can't have that now, can we?