Random _______ of the Day

Here's a fun game, where the blank from the headline is filled in to accomodate some useless information that no one could care less about. I'd say you could play at home, but I will have already filled in the blank repeatedly. So to speak.

1. Annoyance: The rich people who won't call me back for this freelance story I have to do about rich people who like to drive fast cars. A little quick math tells me they should be calling me back. First, they say time is money. So, in the equation Time=Money, where all these jokers have lots of money, they have lots of time. Which is to say, lots of time in which they could be calling me back but aren't. It's the transitive property, people. Work with me.

2.Thing I Got In The Mail: The Xavier University men's basketball media guide. This is what happens when you belong to the US Basketball writer's association. Lots of unwanted media guides. And lacking an unbalanced table leg, I have no use for this at all.

3. Nostalgia-Killer: They cancelled my 10-year high school reunion. Just got an email about it. No explanation in the email. Just the knowledge that it ain't happening. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like something that you had 10 years to plan shouldn't just go up on a puff of smoke one day inexplicably.

4. Thing I Didn't Expect to Read In Forbes: Many infant girls are being tested for a rare movement disorder when they're actually just masturbating. Here's the link, in case you don't believe me. This is interesting news only for the fact that so many girls claim not to masturbate. Well, ha! The joke's on you. You probably masturbated and didn't even know it. Either that or you had a rare movement disorder. So pretty much either way the joke's on you.

5. Socks: The ones I'm wearing right now. I don't remember buying them. In fact, I'm 100 percent sure I didn't. But they somehow ended up in my laundry some time ago and have been washed by me, and now they are mine I guess. They're comfy.