Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Free Mike Ogle!

Dubious congratulations are in order for our good friend Mike Ogle (remember, the guy who said, “Hey, why don’t you call it Blog Cabin?”). He is now officially the most famous person I know because … drum roll please … he is hated by the entire country of Guam.

Not to recap the whole obviously anti-Ogle agenda from the story – including on the side, where it includes his personal e-mail, so that you too can attack him! – but it goes something like this: He wrote about cockfighting, and the natives say he was “offensive and insensitive” to Guamanians.

In other news, “Guamanians” is a word, apparently.

Now our friend has the elite status usually granted only to politicians, athletes and criminals: “Ogle did not reply to an e-mail from the Pacific Daily News for comment yesterday.”

Congratulations, dude. You are officially “that guy” who could not be reached for comment. It’s like journalist bizarro world.

For those of us who know and love Ogle, we have long been aware that he is a world-class rabble rouser, making mischief in print for his own amusement, occasionally drawing the ire of his subjects.

Well, former North Carolina basketball player Jason Capel, long atop the list of Ogle haters – once going so far as to threaten him – is now a distant second to Guam, being that Cape is not an entire country unto himself, no matter how important he thinks he is.

Sure, OG pissed off the famed Cameron Crazies on ESPN.com’s Page 2 earlier this year, but being that they are only whiny little nerds (read: Duke students), it hardly counts.

Sending Guam into a tizzy? Now that’s a columnist coup! (The funny part being that he wasn’t actually trying to piss anyone off this time – it just sort of happened. Hey, when you got it, you got it.)

Anyway, Guam, being a U.S. territory, has a representative in Congress, although that member can’t vote on things. This leaves her with plenty of time to do other stuff.

Like demand an apology from Mike Ogle.

I urged him to apologize, if for no other reason than that will trump any story anyone he will ever meet will ever tell. Oh yeah? Well, I once had to apologize to a whole island!

Outside of that one good reason, I saw screw it. If the Guamanians don’t like reading my boy on ESPN.com, they can feel free to start up their own web site, ESPN.guam, and write about whatever the hell they want.

Free Mike Ogle! (Note: Ogle is not presently being detained by anyone. I just like saying that. A lot.)

29 Comments:

At 11:06 AM, Blogger thephoenixnyc said...

I can really empathise with him as it has recently come to my attention that I am despised in Andorra.

 
At 11:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Ferris Bueller-style campaign. If I get sued, donations can be made in my name through PETA.

 
At 5:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was going to wear a condom, but I figured, "Hey, when's the next time I'm going to be in Guam?"

Nice work, Ogle, you racist bastard.

 
At 9:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Liked most of your other work, but your claims on this one were actually untrue - check your facts, especially about comparing Guam to Manhattan...

 
At 12:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This tidbit from a pro wrestling site proves that Ogle is indeed a villain. And what's up with your partner's name. I love that the Mike Ogle critique board is back, baby!

*****

The Wildeyed Southern Boy Tracy Smothers returns to take on 1/2 of "The Naturals" Chase Stevens who is one half of the NWA-TNA Tag Team Champions.

Will the UWA Tag Team Champions be able to hold on to the titles when they take on Chris Gorgeous & Mike Ogle?

Bret

 
At 1:16 PM, Blogger Evan said...

i like that this has gotten to the point that people are now anonymously critiquing ogle's work -- namely the fact-checking plea -- in comments that get sent to my email (in addition to being posted here).

 
At 1:51 PM, Blogger Evan said...

Dear jp3:

a) my blog is a bit tongue-in-cheek, you retard. pay attention.

b)really, you heard that at ESPN "their switching to format to Fiction?" maybe you could come work there, too. oh no, wait. scratch that. even in fiction, you need to be able to write a coherent sentence!

 
At 3:55 AM, Blogger Evan said...

jp3, you need to chill out.

it's all in good fun here, capital letters or not. you're the one who rolled in here all high and fuckin mighty about fact-checking, but let's not get childish because i called out your incoherent sentence.

nobody here dislikes guam. we can play nice. it's just a funny situation. jesus christ.

how did you find this blog anyway?

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger Glitzy said...

I read the article before finishing your blog post and was also struck by the fact that “Guamanians” is a word.

My, my, my...the comments abound!

 
At 2:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

In reference to jp3's comments, my experience with the English (or American, or Californian) language reveals that most names start with capital letters, as well. It must be trendy to have lowercase kickstarting the process. From here on out, just call me bret. Actually, the caps-lock key is lonely, so call me breT.

 
At 8:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Although the damage has been done - at least it is no longer on espn - the article is no longer available! Justice!!!

 
At 12:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You apparently are as much of an idiot as your good ole boy Mike Ugly. With looks like his I wouldn't insult folks or pretend to be a journalist.

 
At 2:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like every geographically challenged mainlander I have come across, you seem to fit the stereotype very well! By the way, has anyone ever told you that you have a face for radio? Evan, seriously man, you look fugly and your turning 27! It's all down here for you. Maybe you and your this Ogle butthole, which means ugly, can both be fudgepackers with eachother.

 
At 2:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Evan, go check out www.latitude13.com.

 
At 3:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think you wanna piss of Guamanians, Hawaiians, Samoans, Puerto Ricans, Mexicans, etc. Haole's will no longer be the majority in the mainland and are rapidly in fact becomming the minority. Perhaps in your anglo world of the Carolinas, you Carolinian hicks don't get to travel much unless you sign up for the military. Only then do you begin to understand and know what the hell you are talking about!

 
At 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mike's comments are typical and are probably why most of the outside world consider his type as the "ugly american." Funny how someone can go to a US territory and diss on fellow Americans though. Last time I checked, Guamanians held a US passport and are governed by US laws. Slander and libel are punishable especially in the litigious US. For Mike to say what he did was utterly senseless and reprehensible. I'm glad that Guam's congresswomen, along with her fellow constituents put Mike in his place and made ESPN apologize for associating themselves with his ilk. They have been put on notice and for that I am happy.

 
At 3:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The word Guamanian is usually reserved for other nationalities that call and make Guam there home. Many statesiders who move to Guam from places like North Carolina, Oregon, Washington, etc. after serving in the military live on Guam because of the warm climate, beaches, or for whatever reasons. Many other foreigners, especially from Asia, migrate to Guam because the wages are Federally mandated and thus they make more money than from where they originated. Guam is much like Hawaii in terms of natural beauty. The indigenous people from Guam are known as Chamorros and not as Guamanians. When the indigenous people travel to the mainland, they will say they are Guamanians in order to place their identity, geographically speaking.

 
At 5:08 PM, Blogger Evan said...

I'll repeat for the hard of hearing: None of this blog is anti-Guam, you're simply making it seem that way.

Also, for those with constructive comments, thanks.

For those of you with lame insults calling me and Ogle "ugly," get a fucking life. Or at least grow a fucking pair of testes and don't post anonymously, you fucking pussies.

I mean, really, how seriously can I take you if you're not brave enough to sign your name to some ridiculous diatribe? The answer: not very.

So own up to your comments or go the fuck away, I don't care which.

 
At 7:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you get a fucking life... you stupid ha'ole shit! your blog is boring as hell... noth'n but aryan smack. Free Mike Ogle from what? From his stupidy... I say! You fudgepackers can go fuck yourselves.

 
At 8:19 PM, Blogger Evan said...

man, you have to be the dumbest fuck to ever live....if my blog is so boring, why the fuck do you keep coming back? also, FYI, it's tough for me to be aryan when i'm jewish. but thanks for playing, we have some lovely parting gifts.

 
At 8:23 PM, Blogger Evan said...

oh, and a couple more questions, mr. anonymous-and-still-won't-post-your-name-despite-my-challenge-to-do-so.

1. what's a "ha'ole?"

2. I noticed that within your thinly veiled attempts to label me a racist, you call ogle and I "fudgepackers." so i'm curious, why is homophobia okay but not (alleged) racism?

I breathlessly anticipate your barely literate response.

regards, etc.

 
At 8:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just great, an anglo Jew that enjoys fudgepacking!

What's so bad with being anonymous? If I choose this to by my identity then so be it! It is after all a choice.

Your website IS boring! I read a few of your short stories and it nearly put me to sleep. YAWN!

The only reason why I come here is to leave anonymous remarks on your lame site.

Btw, I found your blog posted in a public restroom stall with your picture next to it. Someone cut a hole out of your mouth and probably put their cock through it!

 
At 8:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha'ole can be googled just like the word fudgepacker, you fudgepacking jew!

 
At 8:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why do you call people retard? Is it because they do not agree with you and your little butt buddy Ogle? Maybe this makes you feel more like a man when you belittle people for your own gain. Isn't it just like a jew to do this?

 
At 8:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are jews a race or merely a religion? If you are a Jew, then would that mean your descendents were Arab slaves?

Instead of identifying as a jew, shouldn't you just say that you are an American rather than announce your religious affiliation?

I don't go around telling everyone I am a Christian! Please enlighten us retards...

 
At 9:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

grow testes... fucking pussies!

My oh my, is this what your blog is all about?

C'mon now, is the white trash talk really all that necessary?

Seems like being a jew really makes you defensive.

 
At 9:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

FREE MIKE OGLE FROM BIGOTRY AND LOUSY WRITING! FREE ERIC FROM HIS WRITER'S BLOCK SINCE ALL HE CAN TALK ABOUT IS TESTES AND PUSSIES.

 
At 1:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm tired of this guy. is there any way we can just get rid of him?

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger bathmate said...

wow nice article ,Excellent page...I appreciate this blog....thank you


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