N-Pee-S-U

As my buddy Bartow would say, "There are many forms of class, this is just one of them." And in this case, "this" is the fact that apparently N.C. State students are just peeing wherever they want during football games. Like right there where they're sitting.

According to that AP story, contributed to by none other than my friend Aaron Beard, who last time I tried to identify him on the blog asked me to take his name out (which is why I'm purposefully putting it in this time), students are just taking a leak where they stand during football games so that they don't lose their seats. I have a couple of other theories as to why this could be happening. Perhaps the Wolfies are: a) not housebroken, or b) laughing so hard at Chuck Amato that spontaneous urination can not be avoided.

And for a moment, let us ignore the hysterically hysterical fact that the headline on the story is "N.C. State aims to keep students from urinating in seats" (get it? aim? urine? oh, forget it.) and focus on the fact that normal people don't do this. At Carolina, nobody's going to steal your seat if you leave to piss. Maybe it's because people just hold it in until late in the third quarter, so they can combine their potty break with their let's-go-to-Franklin-Street-this-team-sucks stroll out of the gates. Or maybe it's just that their civilized people.

But hey, it could be worse at N.C. State. Last year, you could get shot in the parking lot. Now the worst-case scenario is getting blasted with the ol' lemonade cannon. Way to raise the bar.