Kids Hate Christmas, and other things I learned from the World Cup

Just a quick one here, but stupid, stupid, stupid.

I was watching the US-Italy match in group play of the World Cup the other day. The announcers were explaining why each of the players from both teams would be walking out holding hands with a kid as the teams were announced onto the field. (And to be fair, I wasn't really listening closely, so I don't know why the hell they had kids with them.)

So then one of the television announcers declares: "Those kids will have smiles on their faces that won't wear off 'til Christmas." Well, of course, because kids hate Christmas! That'll wipe the smiles right off their stupid little faces!

Parent: Hey, Timmy. Guess what tomorrow is.
Timmy: I don't know.
Parent: It's Christmas!
Timmy: Fuck off.

See? Kids and Christmas don't mix. Unless the announcer meant that the children's smiles would last up to and including Christmas, which would be totally different. But hey, if that's what he meant, that's what he should've said.

Name of the Day

Funny names are a part of life, especially for sportswriters, since we often encounter, um, unusual monikers.

Here's a funny one, an Eastern Illinois linebacker named ... get ready for it ... Lucious Pussy. No word on whether he has a brother named Harry.