Winnie, Vidi, Vici

Oh, Winnie Cooper! We hardly knew ye! But that all changed when Winnie (a.k.a. Danica McKellar) went all slut-tastic for a Stuff Magazine photo shoot, a far cry from her days as co-star of "The Wonder Years."

I'm sorry, but when I think Winnie Cooper, I think of a sweater and a sweet smile, the blush-filled awkwardness of middle-school romance. I don't think of see-through bras and slutty boots.

At least as far as you know, I don't.

Upon further review of the Danica McKellar situation (read: looking up her bio on imdb.com), I discovered a pile of useless information fatter than that Doug kid Kevin hung out with.

First and foremost: The evil Becky Slater, arch-nemesis of Kevin Arnold and a general all-around bitch, was none other than Crystal McKellar, Danica's little sister.

No wonder Kevin seemed so tormented -- the object of his lust and the object of his scorn shared DNA in real life!

Second, apparently Danica attended UCLA, where she graduated with a BA in mathematics. And, according to the bio, she "had a 1998 paper published in Britain's 'Journal of Physics A: Mathematics & General' with UCLA professor Lincoln Chayes and student Brandy Winn which provided a mathematical proof for a theorem dealing with magnetism in two dimensions."

Take that Paul Pfeiffer!

We can also learn that Danica is fluent in French and is still pals with her old co-star, Fred Savage.

But what we can't learn is the most important lesson of all, one that Kevin Arnold should have learned back in seventh grade: When a chick as gorgeous as that Madeline girl throws herself at you, you dump Winnie and get some hottie ass.

What a butthead!