When "ize" Gets In Your Soap

After another semi-long hiatus, I was finally moved to write an entry here thanks to something I saw while covering a basketball game at Clemson.

Now, the first problem is that if the world had an actual butthole, it would be located at exit 19B of I-85. Sure, you could argue that the town of Anderson is also off that exit and I shouldn’t necessarily lump it in with Clemson. But I could argue that my fingers are in my ears and I can’t hear you (la, la, la, la…).

So anyway, back to the point of the story, I’m in the bathroom, and what do I see but a soap dispenser labeled “Lotionized Hand Soap.”

Two thoughts immediately occurred to me:

1. Who sees the container of liquid hand soap and then, like a lab rat going for a reward pellet, presses away furiously waiting for a bar of soap to drop out?

The answer? No one.

2. There’s just no way that “Lotionized” is a word.

Turns out, I was right on this one. Unless of course I meant “lot ionized” or “lionized.”

Which clearly I didn’t. Although it would be nice to have some soap to look up to.