The Hesitant, Yet Artful Dodge-r

Today, I am officially a Southerner.

I had to drop my car off for a week of repair (thanks to a chick in my apartment complex who backed into my whole passenger side), and the good people at Allstate hooked me up with a rental car.

Enterprise, known by the slogan "We’ll pick you up," came and, well, picked me up. I just didn’t expect to get picked up in a pickup.

Nor did I expect that, since they were out of little cars most closely resembling my Hyundai Elantra, I would actually be driving off in the very same pickup truck, a Dodge Dakota.

When the very-hot girl from Enterprise who picked me up, so to speak, informed me of this, I said, very coolly, "Uh, yeah, sure, pickup. Yeah, no problem." As if I drove pickups all the time. I'm what the kids call "smooth."

She said it was either that or a minivan, and I figured Redneck status gave me ever so slightly more street cred than Soccer Mom status, so the pickup it was.

Of course, it took a little adjusting, as the Newtonian laws apparently apply slightly differently to a several-ton truck than they do to my regular car, which weighs about the same as my couch.

But once that was out of the way, it was fun. I even passed a minivan on my way home, and was glad I wasn’t the driver of it. "Sucker," I thought. "Ha!"

Wait, make that "Yeeeee ha!"